By Susan Fisher
I often focus on dementia in my articles because it's a topic which is very close to home for me, both professionally and personally. With over 6,500 new homes planned in Lindsay alone, by 2031 and an estimated average household size of two or more, we can expect the number of seniors living with dementia to grow steadily in the coming years. The question is: are we as a society prepared for this? Are we ready to support the people who care for their loved ones? Will there be enough knowledgeable and caring individuals dedicated to helping families affected by this disease? Or will we continue to fall short again and again?
When caregivers struggle day after day, with their loved ones' responsive behaviours, will there actually be somewhere or someone they can turn to for help in the moment?
For anyone who has been a caregiver, had a family member, or friend living with dementia, or known someone affected by it, you understand dementia is an incredibly challenging and often heartbreaking condition. This is not only for the person experiencing it but also for those who care for them and it is more common than most of us know.
As the disease progresses, individuals may display, what is known as, "responsive behaviours." These behaviours can range, from agitation and aggression to withdrawal or confusion. They are often the mind's way of reacting to a situation or feeling, and while these behaviours can sometimes be misunderstood, they are always a signal the person is experiencing something which is difficult to communicate. Whether it's physical discomfort, environmental stress, or emotional distress, these behaviours are often the only way the person can express what they are feeling. It's crucial to remember, these actions are not intentional but rather a response to something beyond their control.
As a caregiver, it's easy to feel helpless when faced with these behaviours. The person you love may no longer react or respond as they used to which can be incredibly painful. However, it's important to understand, these changes are not a reflection of your care or your loved one's personality. Instead, they are part of the disease process. Their brain is processing the world in a way which is different from what they once knew, and their behaviours often reflect that internal confusion and struggle.
One of the first steps in managing responsive behaviours is recognizing their triggers.
Is your loved one in pain? Are they feeling scared or confused by their environment? Are they frustrated by their inability to communicate? Identifying these triggers is key to addressing the root cause of the behaviour. Simple changes, like creating a quieter, less stimulating environment, adjusting lighting, or checking for physical discomfort (like hunger, thirst, or ill-fitting shoes), can make a world of difference in reducing distress.
Approaching the situation with empathy is equally important. When your loved one is agitated or upset, your response can have a profound impact. Speak calmly, use gentle touch, and offer reassurance. Often, just being there, in a way which feels safe, can help bring comfort. Avoiding confrontation and reminding them everything is okay can ease stress, for both the person living with dementia and the caregiver.
However, caregiving can be overwhelming, especially when faced with persistent, responsive behaviours. The emotional toll is real and can be isolating, but remember, you are not alone. Seeking support from other caregivers, joining support groups, or reaching out to professionals specializing in dementia care can provide the guidance and reassurance you need. Your efforts are deeply meaningful, and your presence is a gift, even on the hardest days.
In the midst of all these challenges, it's essential to take care of yourself, too. Caregiving can be exhausting, and it's okay to ask for help when you need it. Taking small moments for yourself, whether it be by taking a walk, a brief rest, or even a few moments to practice deep breathing, can help you replenish your energy and compassion.
Dementia may alter the way your loved one interacts with the world but it doesn't change the love you share. By offering patience, understanding, and kindness, you help preserve their dignity and provide them with a sense of safety and comfort. Though the road ahead may not always be easy, know your dedication and love are making a difference every single day. You are a source of comfort, and your care matters more than words can express.
As the number of people affected by dementia continues to rise, it's vital we, as a community, provide the support which both those living with dementia and their caregivers need. If you're struggling to navigate these challenges, please don't hesitate to reach out to your local Alzheimer's Society. They offer resources, support, and a compassionate network of people, who understand exactly what you're going through. You don't have to face this journey alone.
Susan works for Silver Lights Senior Services, a family-owned and operated seniors' homecare company, serving the City of Kawartha Lakes. Their services currently include an Adult Day Program for Dementia, community PSW and companion support, and a short-stay seniors' retreat, on a beautiful 3-acre property in Lindsay. Find them on Facebook and Instagram or visit their website, at www.silverlightsseniorservices.com. To book services, call Tammy Adams, at 705 308 1940, or to register for the Day Program, call Susan, at 705 308 7923.
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