Often my brother and I get into some deep contemplative conversations. One such discussion was on the subject of truth. This was the result.
Have you ever heard the saying, “The truth will always out”? It's very true and happens continually in our lives, but many of us seem to fail to recognize it, both for what it is or even at all.
For instance, we struggle to get somewhere in life, only to find the path we were following didn't lead to the object of our desire, it led somewhere else or to a different version of what we were striving for. We can become disenchanted, sometimes even bitter or angry, because of how unfair it seems.
Another instance may be, when we feel others may not understand something about us so we try to hide it. Maybe they will or even have dismissed us for it in the past, so we don't want to face that rejection again. This can stimulate us to alter our behaviour constantly, to hide or justify our actions, to make our internal defensiveness be viewed as normal behaviour.
A final example is, when we do something we know is not healthy, to others' or ourselves, like when we avoid dealing with someone; or when we tell half the truth, leaving details out of an explanation, to mislead others. Maybe we wish it will save others pain, but ultimately it leaves them vulnerable to, at least the pain of betrayal, if not to the truth you tried to avoid. Most often the reason is not that noble, and it's because we are uncomfortable to face the moment or what it reveals about us and we imagine the gap in truth leaves off the hook. Never so! Eventually we pay the cost in conscience or consequences.
We've all had things happen to us in life which address our need for change, in our thought life, the way we feel about things, or the way we behave. Stemming from: harmful actions toward us; misjudgments we made affecting others; or traumatic circumstances we went through, all leaving us feeling vulnerable, and so we invent self protective mechanisms.
Created with our own consideration in mind, they rarely include healthy responses to benefit others, leaving us with huge social blind spots. We can emulate those we think are untouched by these kinds of troubles. The problem here is, while we are choosing another as a role model, our judgment is damaged by the wound we carry, and so we often set up others in our minds as the example which they are not. They are different people with different problems and needs, so we most often bestow qualities upon them we think we need for ourselves. This can cause big problems in our relationship with them, if they ever fail to live up to our expected standards. An out-lash of fear can result as anger, as we feel our life is still not safe, this is very unfair to ourselves and others. No person can be your ultimate answer, it's just too big a role.
Digging in, refusing to see we need to change, we can be left unwilling to admit we are remaining a victim. Denial is, cooperating with the hurt which conquered us, as if making friends will pacify the bully, it's really the problem reinforcing itself within us, eventually, still remaining uncomfortable with confronting the meaning about the change in ourselves, we could begin to behave cruel in some way to others. So we rationalize how we live now, trying to show it's a understandably acceptable response, quick to snap and justify when anything comes close to our secret. We say things like, “This is just the way I am.” or “It's no big deal, lots of people are this way.”
Fighting against the truth is an impossible battle, because it's reality breaking through. We'll simply go from loss to greater loss, inwardly sensing this as personal embarrassment and diminishing of ourselves. As we try to fight the healing effects of truth, we become less and less connected with who we truly are. Truth itself can become viewed as our enemy because considering it we feel the pain we want to avoid. But pain is an indicator of life coming back tothe area of hurt. It is the expression of nerve flow traveling through repaired tissue, and it is much the same emotionally. Eventually the pain will be replaced by recovered healthy function. So embrace the pain when it's the right time, face down the hurt with forgiveness, patient determination and letting the larger picture of love rule, so you don't become made small. The life you win will be stronger for it, and able to live more real with those around. The truth will always out.
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