Letter to the editor - The Virtues of Non-Attachment

Without realizing it, many of us confuse non-attachment with non caring. In actuality, the two are completely different.

Not caring suggests apathy: “I couldn’t care less. It doesn’t matter to me.”

Non-attachment, on the other hand, means: “I’ll do everything possible. I’ll put the odds in my favour. I’ll work hard and concentrate. I’ll do my best to succeed, but if I don’t, that’s okay to.”

Being attached to an outcome, holding on, takes an enormous amount of energy. Not only during an effort, but often after an effort is complete, after you’ve failed, been let down or were dealt a bad hand.

Being non-attached, however, creates emotional freedom. It means holding on tightly, but letting go lightly. It suggests trying hard, really caring, but at the same time being completely willing to let go of the outcome.

Attachments create fear that gets in the way; what if I lose? What if the deal doesn’t go through? What if I am rejected? What if...what if...what if...

Your belief that everything must work out exactly as you want it to with no glitches creates enormous pressure; everything rides on your success.

Non-attachment works wonders. It allows you to have fun in your efforts, and to enjoy the process. It helps you succeed at whatever you are doing by giving you the confidence you need. It takes the pressure off. You win regardless of the outcome.

The act of not worrying helps you stay focused. It helps you stay out of your own way. You know in your heart that, even if things don’t work out the way you hope they will, everything will be alright. You’ll be okay. You’ll learn from the experience. You’ll do better next time.

This attitude of acceptance helps you move on to the next step in your path. Rather than being lost or immobilized in disappointment or regret, you simply move on - with confidence and joy!

Combination of many lessons
David Malcolm